Behind Blue Eyes
by Brynne
Summary: A songfic. Sydney comtemplates Sark.
1. The Bad Man

Behind Blue Eyes  
  
Author: BrynneSummary: A songfic. Sark contemplates.   
Category: AngstRating: G  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Please don't sue. I have no money. Alias is not mine, neither is The Who.  
  
AN: Was listening to this song and I was like "Sounds like Sark" So I had to hunt down the lyrics to the song because I was told the wrong title and got completely confused.   
  
Another foiled mission. Not one of his, but on of Sydney's. Once she had another artifact, say something witty, get the artifact, blah, blah, blah. It was almost boring. Sigh. Wonder if there is anything good on the radio? Ah, The Who!  
  
No one knows what it's like  
To be the bad man  
To be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes  
  
Well that's depressing. I always thought it was called "Behind Blue Eyes" but maybe it should be called "The-Song that so accurately describes Sark's life"   
  
No one knows what it's like  
To be hated  
To be fated  
To telling only lies  
  
I wonder if that's how she sees me? A cold-blooded killer. She used too...but does she still? Am I still so evil and appalling to her? Would she not touch me with thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole? Hee hee, the Grinch.   
  
But my dreams  
They aren't as empty  
As my conscience seems to be  
  
No, they aren't. They're full of darkness and sin. I wake up sweating from a dream of past memories and broken promises. When someone thinks of the word dream, they think of happy things. Mine have never been happy. And yet, I'm not so sure they are nightmares...  
  
I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free  
  
Vengeance is a drug to me. I can't stop. It, ironically, stables me. I tried to stop once. I couldn't. It's...it's...a part of me...  
  
No one knows what it's like  
To feel these feelings  
Like I do  
And I blame you  
  
I do blame her. For forcing me into this world of masked agendas, no emotions, and spinning into the abyss.   
  
No one bites back as hard  
On their anger  
None of my pain and woe  
Can show through  
  
No one knows my fears. I myself barely know my own fears; I've hidden them so long. I've worn a mask for so long, I don't know which is the real me and which is just a mask.  
  
But my dreams  
They aren't as empty  
As my conscience seems to be  
  
I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free  
  
I think I love her. Whenever I'm around her, I can't seem to show it. Suddenly the walls go up when she's near. When will they crumble?  
  
When my fist clenches, crack it open  
Before I use it and lose my cool  
When I smile, tell me some bad news  
Before I laugh and act like a fool  
  
I haven't laughed, really laughed, since I was little. When I was young, on the green shores of Ireland, with my mother...but she was ripped away from me...happiness does not exist for me...  
  
If I swallow anything evil  
Put your finger down my throat  
If I shiver, please give me a blanket  
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat  
  
Since I was ten, I've had to rely on only myself. I only trusted myself, no one else. Because when you trust the wrong person, they hurt you.  
  
No one knows what it's like  
To be the bad man  
To be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes  
What do you think? Sucked? Good? Review please!! 


	2. Stupid Sark

Behind Blue Eyes  
  
Author: BrynneSummary: A songfic. Sydney contemplates Sark. S/S  
Category: AngstRating: G  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Please don't sue. I have no money. Alias is not mine, neither is The Who.  
  
AN: I thought it was a one-parter but I got an idea to put Sydney into the works.   
  
Stupid Sark.  
  
I so had that Rambaldi thingy...Whatever it was. Sigh. Probably some one hundred year old scroll with the secret for eternal life or something.   
  
It doesn't really matter what it was, the point is I had it first. I was the one who had to wear the very revealing dress, seduce some old guy to get a key, beat up some bad guys, and very carefully get the stupid scroll or artifact or whatever without tripping some alarm. And then all of a sudden, he's right behind me, with that stupid grin and a gun. Says something cocky in that sexy (I mean...stupid) accent. Takes the...thingy. Leaves.  
  
Stupid blue eyes.  
  
Stupid Sark.  
  
Stupid Sydney.   
  
I've been sitting in my car for the last twenty minutes, brooding.   
  
Banging my head on the steering wheel seems like a good idea.  
  
Ouch.  
  
Ok. Start the car. Drive. Listen to the radio. Listen to The Who's Behind Blue Eyes.   
  
Wait. The Who is a little different than the blues my radio is set on. Guess the DJ wanted to try something new...  
  
No one knows what it's like  
To be the bad man  
To be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes.   
  
Uhhh....ok breathe. Don't freak out because this song is exactly about the man you love...err...hate.   
  
No one knows what it's like  
To be hated  
To be fated  
To telling only lies  
  
I wonder...does he really have feelings? I use to think of him as a cold-blooded killer. But is he really? Have I just misunderstood his actions? Maybe he's not so bad underneath...  
  
But my dreams  
They aren't as empty  
As my conscience seems to be  
  
Does he even dream? If he does, are they happy? Are they nightmares? Does he wake up at night, sweating, and scared of going back to sleep? Or maybe he's an insomniac...  
  
I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free  
  
He seems to love being sadistic. Vengeance is so much like a drug. Perhaps he has tasted that drug and is addicted...  
  
No one knows what it's like  
To feel these feeling  
Like I do  
And I blame you  
  
I blame Sark for making me fall for him. He just has to have the most shocking, beautiful blue eyes and the sexiest accent. And yet I also blame them for forcing me into this world of masked agendas, no emotions, and spinning into the abyss.   
  
No one bites back as hard  
On their anger  
None of my pain and woe  
Can show through  
  
I wear a mask. He does too. We both hide it all. But the question is, can he take his mask off?  
  
But my dreams  
They aren't as empty  
As my conscience seems to be  
  
I have hours, only lonely  
My love is vengeance  
That's never free  
  
I love him. I can never show it, though. When I'm around him, walls go up. I'm not sure if they will ever crumble...  
  
When my fist clenches, crack it opne  
Before I use it and lose my cool  
When I smile, tell me so bad news  
Before I laugh and act like a fool  
  
Sark is so intriguing. His past holds some deep secrets. I wonder how he got into this business, what his first name is, and if his accent is really British or maybe Irish.  
  
If I swallow anything evil  
Put your finger down my throat  
If I shiver, please give me a blanket  
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat  
  
No one knows what it's like  
To be the bad man  
To be the sad man  
Behind blue eyes  
  
Silence.  
  
I shiver. In fact, I'm downright shaking. Chills run down my spine.  
  
Whoa. When was I driving? And how long have I've been sitting in my driveway?  
  
Ok. Breathe. Get out of the car and...  
  
Wait.  
  
Silence?  
  
The car is still on but the radio isn't playing...  
  
It wasn't the radio.  
  
It's a cd.  
  
A cd that isn't mine. An unmarked cd that only has one song on it...  
  
Sark.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
So? Do you like it? And don't worry, I'll work on Bombshell.   
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!! The little blue button is lonely...so click on it! 


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